Tuesday, December 12, 2017

Sometimes the littlest thing

Filled the biggest space in our Hearts

I dont know whats the requirements to work in my clinic but kind, humble and sweet are absolutely 3 of the requirements

Every morning, I get into clinic showered by 'Assalamualaikum' and 'Morning!' from my clinic family members. Sometimes I wished that the distance from the main door to officers' room is longer so that I'll pass by more people. Never I ever expected this kind of warm welcomes in my life. 

Helpful colleagues and senior officers

A special thank you shout out to my senior doctors in TSL. They couldn't be more helpful to me than they are now. Guiding me on each steps I took and about to take. Lending me hands and ears when patients are lining up and assisting me whenever I'm stuck in difficult cases. Thank you so mucho! You know who you are *smile*

2 things I wont be able to work without: My chair and my assistants. That is how important my assistants to me. Thank you guys. I still think dentist is the spoiled brat version of doctors. But I know you guys love me still 🙈

Working phase that scares me the most turned out to be an enjoyable new world for me. Im such a big liar if I say theres nothing to hate in my career

There are times I have to keep reminding myself, be sincere in whatever you do. Chanting imagooddentistimagooddentistimagooddentist all the way 

Dealing with human head is pretty hard. They can incredibly stare at you 😅

But with these awesome people around me, there's nothing to worry

My besfriend once told me

"Dont fall to like easily. Everyone is kind. I am kind. Find someone who is kind, accepts you and bravely embraces the differences" 

I guess I found this people already, Fatin 

Note to myself before 25

Assalamualaikum and Hi everyone! 

In 2 weeks time we'll all leave 2017 to 2018

I would describe 2017 as a year where I started to develop and understand what maturity really is.

The biggest lesson I have learned this year is probably to be responsible in my assumptions and expectations

On anything

Not to blame anyone on our mistakes just because its already hard to bear with the consequences, whatsmore to take the blame. sigh ~

Knowing this did not mean I will never put expectations or live in my assumptions ever.

Its almost impossible. 

But accepting the consequences of our actions is what vital. To question and to rationalize it with our efforts

That my feelings can never be someone's else's business

To accept the reality that it was actually me who didnt know how to deal with my own feelings. 

It is me that I need to forgive

For letting my feeling to put whatever expectations and assumptions on future

Forgetting that Im nowhere beyond fate and 

That Allah holds the future

Monday, June 20, 2016

I have got mine now

Alhamdulillah thumma Alhamdulillah thumma Alhamdulillah 

After 5 years of tears, sweat and smiles I made it to the graduation day 
A dentist to be specific *smile* 

There’s no one else on this earth I would like to dedicate my success to, 
If it wasnt because of your countless dua’s umi & abah 
I wouldn’t make it to this pinnacle of success. 

Thank you so much. So so much

To think that I’ll be home again, lazing around in the house.. Its strange. It has been yearsss! To see you everyday.. 
I’ll take my own sweet time for sure
Answering and listenin to your ceramah about working, life, marriage more often now..
I'm listenin, I'm good
As long as you’re happy
I’ve got mine
Just a few weeks ago
The day you hugged me during my graduation ceremony saying how proud you are seeing me walking on that stage clad in a graduation robe and a hat
And since that day, I promised to be a good daughter the best I can

Even I know
Im nowhere near to repay them

Tuesday, March 22, 2016

This is my fight song

This is my fight song
Take back my life song
Prove I'm allright song
My power's turned on
Starting right now I'll be strong
I'll play my fight song
And I dont really care if nobody else believes
Cause I've still got a lot of fight left in me..

In less than 4 months
It will be 5 years I am in dentistry school. Alhamdulillah.

I am such a big liar if I say, the idea of giving up never came into my mind
Assuring myself that I can do this.. I can do this..  I can do this.. countless times
That I am not sure if it will work anymore in the future

Motivating myself in the middle of the night
when I get bad dreams about tomorrow
That 'this shall pass too'

Looking back how far I have gone just to tell myself
I cant possibly give up

Coming into the clinic with a mindset
'I have gone thru this before'
So when im being yelled for the mistakes I am responsible on
I will not break down in front of the patients

For all the promises made
I prepared myself to not hold on to it until it happens
So when the promises were broken
I still have the strength to walk home

Forcing myself to think that
everythings that happens,
there's always a reasons why Allah wants it to happen
And then,
I can paint a smile on my face no matter how hard it is to accept

Squeezing 'work out' in my schedule
So when I need to repeat my works over and over again
I have the muscles to depend on

Reassuring myself not to cry
after every rejection I get
As a YES always come in pair with a NO

Planting courage as high as the mountain
so when I need it, I can go for it without hesitation

Refrain myself from letting my emotion to take control of me
So I can think logically
when problem arises

Making sure that I eat a lot in the morning
So when I have to spend the whole day in the clinic
I am strong

Physically & mentally Drained
Is just a temporary condition
And in one night, It will be a new me.