Saturday, December 13, 2014

Hanya Gerhana, Bukan Terbenamnya Matahari


“ Cik ”

I was on my study table when a message came in my phone through Whatapps. Never thought that the message was that. 
Honestly, I didn’t know what I should do.

Assure you?
Comfort you?
Cry with you?
Cheer you up?

One thing I want you to know, what you are going through now, trust me (i know i cheat chat a lot. *laugh*) only this time

Trust me

In Sha Allah, he will absolutely replace what He has borrowed you even just for only 2 weeks with something better.

Have that faith.

Later as time passes the wound will heal. The beginning is always the hardest. So, just be strong, sooner or later it shall pass too.

Allah has prepared something better.

I always think how it was a welcome relief, when we stumbled upon those few true test. It reminds us that this world isn’t our final destination. These test are little ways Allah wants to show to us that He actually care and with these test we won’t get carried away and return back to Him.

Sun will shine again after the eclipse. 

So i guess, me already have 2 anak buah. One Muhammad Ziyaad another is waiting for us in Jannah.  
And another one, on his way. For the time being, I'll call him Baby Z.  

And if Baby Z have the same birth date as me, sorry Ziyaad, anty B has new favorite anak buah. :P 

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

you 'Zack'-ed me doctor

Matanya semakin lama semakin berat dan akhirnya tertutup rapat.

Keeseokan harinya, seperti biasa tepat pukul 8:45 pagi dia sudah keluar dari rumah, menahan coaster di persimpangan jalan besar dan turun di Bab Athar, Jamiah Yarmouk. Turun sahaja dari coaster dia membetul-betulkan kain baju kurung yang sudah mula senget. Memandangkan hari ni, cuaca tidak terlalu sejuk, angin pun tidak terlalu kuat, dia keluar ke clinic tanpa menyarungkan sweater.

*         *        *


Disandarkan badannya di tiang katil. Lab coat masih di tangan. Pengalamannya di clinic hari ni, luar biasa! Matanya dilelapkan, kemudian dia menghela nafas panjang. Bersyukur di atas segala apa yang terjadi. perlahan-perlahan Shaima bangun menuju ke meja belajarnya. ditarik keluar salah satu laci yang ada, lalu dikeluarkan sebuah buku berwarna coklat. tangan kirinya pantas mencapai sebatang pen biru sebelum dia duduk semula di tebing katil.


Pagi ni sebelum keluar ke klinik, aku sempat menoleh ke arah kertas-kertas nota A4 yang berselerak di atas meja kayu di hadapan katil dan kemas ala kadar. Semalam mengantuk sangat sampai tidak sempat hendak mengemas meja, Bila mata dah tertumpu ke arah katil besi di sebelah, akhirnya, aku mengaku kalah pada pukul 12 suku pagi.

Today I have conservative clinic. and to make it even interesting Dr, Zacharia was in charged of supervising my cubicle.


Sunday, September 7, 2014

Noo.. I am Shaima.. Umme?

Its so hard to catch  up with you nowadays. Ms busy housewife.
A lot of things happened while you are away from house.

I once asked abah why only two of us has 'umme' in our names. What about uda, bcu and kakak? As usual, abah answered my question in the most simple way i could think of.
My beloved abah *smile*

"Masa abah minta ustaz namakan ateh dulu, dia bagi dua nama sekaligus. Kalau dapat anak perempuan lagi In shaa Allah boleh bagi nama umme-shaima' "

Umme-Shaima' comes together with Umme Ayman as a pair. As a result, peoples always ingatkan we are twins. Even until now, esp kawan-kawan umi confused themselves which one is ateh and bcik always. Now when you are married this situation cant get any worst. *serious talk*
Theres this one makcik, with the highest confidence i ever seen, we went to her open house last two week in shah alam. You werent there.

"Haa, dah sampai pun. *after i salam her, direct in my eyes* wheres your other half?

Huh? I look at both my right and left hand just in case the makcik is right. who knows, I accidentally left my other half at home ke. And, i was totally complete with both half with me.
I just started laughing when i realised that she meant you.

"Makcik, yang kahwin hari tu kakak saya. My other half? He's playing hide and seek with me." *laugh*

Thanks to you, i get to experienced all this.. Adeyh... And that is not the last i'm sure. Even wo depo who has known us like forever mistakenly thought me as you.

"Mana suami, tak ikut sekali" and i was like "eh wo, bila bcik nikah wo?" then she was like "eh wo silap. Wo ingatkan ateh. Sorry2"
And i just cant prevent myself from laughing again.

When it happened for the 9999th times, guess who's in stress?
Umi.. With the kuasa veto umi has, i think its not gonna be long till my time comes. *laugh*

Im going back to jordan in no time. Holidays are coming to its end. I will surely miss all those moments i had in Malaysia. In shaa Allah after one years (or maybe more), we will meet again. Your precious once in a lifetime event ended very well yesterday i assumed. Berarak pun sekali je kan. Ok tu.. Great achievement. *pat on the shoulder*
Im proud of you :P

Please do continuously pray for me. Pejam celik pejam celik lagi one year and a half i will be graduating as a dentist. Kejap je. Dr. Shaima' in the house laterr..

So Shaima' I know books are boring, they didnt talk but please deal with it. You've succeed dealing with them for 3 years and half and now only one year and 9 months more. One yearrr.. In shaa Allah fuhh..fuhh.
[self-encouragement, i need professional advises sometimes] xD

Until then ~
Send by bestest regard to akhi ikmal..

Maas salamah

Tuesday, July 15, 2014



Erm, shall I introduced myself again? the 2nd writer of Ar-Rumaisa'. cough.

Well, when I think about it again, Shaima'!! it has been a really really long time since you posted something here babe. When was it? hmm, after SPM I think.
This whole thing of flashing back actually started just now. Not in my to-do-list okay. ngeh. I was studying animal behavior (i know this seem kinda weird. I'm not sure either why I'm here taking this subject) Well at least I'm pretty sure abah gonna be proud of me. I can accompany him managing the future farm he once wanted to have. And maybe teach Jinggo to socialise more friendly with other cats.  =_=

So out of the frustration learning about confusing animal behaviour I went a lil bit na na and Goggled my name.. And it wasnt me alone. Toba and Kak Tasneem once did the same thing too. I thought im the only one! I named this as curiosity syndrome. curious what Google would think me as even thou I never knew him. Its always been like this. Whenever I have exam in 2 days time, there's always something cool like this happening. Gargaga.

So, I found Ar-Rumaisa' listed fifth in the Google findings list. tears. 2010, this was my last time I had myself there. I read all the posts we wrote 5 years ago. i was in ktj and you were in Jordan. I couldnt believe this either...

I didnt know I was so cute back then.. hmm

Anyway, 5 years was more than enough to make me and you change. Not just physically and mentally but far beyond that. Your status changed. The way I'm going to write, its no longer be that way anymore. The paragraph you read earlier. Life offers maturity with time. The older we get the more we get to learn what and how to deal with life. To think, to act, to love, to live and to worship Allah s.w.t better that ever. Ar-Rumaisa' was actually one of my strength back at the old days when I was all alone in Malaysia without you guys. It was my choice.

Reading your posts and hardships in Jordan made me realised the reality about future. Life aint going to be easier. That's for sure. And I told myself  'Shaima', if you want to change yourself, now is the time. Changing myself to be stronger, independent and dependent was Herculean task. I gave myself a due date to fulfill all the requirement so I can say I am a changed person. But you know what, then I learn one thing about being better. I can never stop changing.

I still remember the first time I went into the surau at ktj to pray just because you said, the strength I wanted was buried inside the surau. I was so afraid that I did pray for the sliding door to be locked. At least there's reason why I didnt do it. You were right. The strength wasnt even buried inside the surau. Its just there.

My journey to define who am I finally started for real.

Now it feels like 5 years ago again. Writing a post and getting the post reply. Except the situation now had changed. Its me who are in Jordan and you are in Malaysia. No more boarding school.  

Last year we went back together. One year of training from you was undeniably a torture. Practical session begin when you left Urdun for good last February. Someone asked me why didnt I become like you. Very outstanding, get elected for high positions in student's community, all famous and well known. I didnt give any answers. Just smile. What else would I do? Its just not me. "I hate spotlights". laugh.

Today is your 25th day as a wife to akhi Ikmal. No worries, I know you are doing all fine along with Abg fit dekat sebelah. ngeh. I wonder how that feels - To juggle with the responsibilities I had now is already stifling my chest. And to add another.. I bet it requires even more prep and less being commitment panic. haha.

Last but not least, allow me to finish my animal behavoiur's slidaat..

p/s: I'm still trying my best to call him Abg Ikmal so it will not sound like im adressing a murobbi... :P
and im so like yayyy! you didnt change the password.  


Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Anekdot Kehidupan

Setiap detik, masa dan ketika,
Ummi dan abah  sentiasa menasihati dan mengingatkan akan besarnya tanggungjawab yang bakal aku pikul nanti,
Bila aku melihat mereka,
Aku bersyukur dikurniakan Ibu bapa yang hebat,
Tak mustahillah mereka berjaya melepasi segala cabaran dan alhamdulillah bahagia sehingga kini ,
Pabila mendengar setiap bait kata dan nasihat mereka,
Aku sering bertanya pada diriku,
" Mampukah aku ? "
Jujur, aku takut.

Kerana aku sedang memilih untuk memikul sebuah tanggungjawab.

Perkahwinan itu bukan hanya pentas untuk bersuka ria sahaja,
Akan tetapi ia ibarat sebuah kapal yang berada ditengah lautan ,
Adakalanya ia kan bergerak dengan tenang seiring dengan tenangnya bayu angin dan indahnya pelangi,
Adakalanya ia terumbang ambing dek besarnya ombak yang menghempas,
Segalanya terletak pada sang nakhoda dan pembantunya,
Jika mereka berjaya mengharungi segala rintangan dan cabaran,
Maka mereka akan sampai ke destinasi dengan selamat bersama penumpang-penumpang kapal.

Destinasi haqiqi kita akhirat bukan,
Jannaturr Firdaus cita-cita kitakan,
Redho Allah  adalah ghayah kita,
Maka , ayuhlah berlari bersama,
Kadang aku akan jatuh dan melambatkan perjalanan,
Dek kerana membawa kesan-kesan jahiliyyah yang sedang berusaha aku pudarkan,
Kadang-kadang engkau pula yang akan jatuh,
Dan aku akan setia menunggu,
Janganlah kita sangka manusia itu kuat, hebat dan sentiasa sempurna,
Hakikatnya kita lemah, faqir dan tidak berdaya tanpa-Nya,
Allah lah yang Maha kuat, Maha memberi rezeki, Maha kasih dan Maha mendengar,
Maka marilah pinta kekuatan dan berharap pada-Nya.

Sesungguhnya Allah Maha menerima Taubat,
Astaghfirullah hala'dzhim.


Ya Allah,
Sekiranya esok Kau masih mengurniakan nafas dan kehidupan padaku,
Kau tambahakanlah keyakinan pada hatiku dan kekuatan pada jiwaku.

#Insya Allah dengan izin-Nya suatu hari nanti

- Al-alifat -

Friday, May 9, 2014

Muhammad 'Abduh

Kisah Muhammad 'Abduh dalam melakukan pengislahan di Al-Azhar,
Beliau telah melakukan perubahan  yang memberi impak yang hebat dalam tradisi keilmuan islam.
Tambahan,  hasil daripada  Idea Muhammad 'Abduh dan cara pemikiran beliau , beliau telah mencipta silibus dan sistem penbelajaran di Al-Azhar dan ternyata silibus Al-Azhar pada era 'Abduh telah terbukti mencapai klimaks pembangunan sebuah tamadun dan kebudayaan.

Syukran pada yang berkongsi kerana membawaku mengenali Tokoh yang hebat ini :)
So, sekaranng nak menyelami lagi siapakah Muhammad 'Abduh ?

Sejak kebelakangan ini, pelbagai isu yang timbul,
Kadang-kadang tak paham juga dengan fenomena yang timbul,
Susah nak tahu mana hitam dan yang mana putih,
Banyaknya berwarna kelabu.

Jawapan, hanya hati yang ikhlas mampu memahami.

Ya Allah, janganlah dikau tarik kembali kefahaman ini setelah engkau kurniakan.

- Al-alifat -

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Thank You Allah

La yukallifullahu nafsan illa wusa'ha

Allah will never give us a challenge that we cannot overcome.
Every difficulty we face is custom tailored to our capacity to handle it.

Counting the day , huuuu



Suka sangat dengar bunyi daun kering bila dipijak,
Satu ketenangan dan kegembiraan bagiku,
Kadang-kadang sanggup berhenti diliku-liku jalan yang dipenuhi dengan daun-daun kering semata-mata nak dengar bunyi daun - daun itu bila dipijak.


Ma ajmala Khaliq!
Betapa hebat dan indahnya ciptaan Allah,
Dengan hanya daun kering yang sudah gugur , mampu memberi ketenangan dan kegembiraan.


Optimis dan yakin pada takdir-Nya

Pepatah arab pesan,
Kegembiraan dan harapan itu ada pada hati orang-orang yang redha pada ketentuan Allah
dan Alhamdulillah, aku tahu  dan aku yakin Allah ingin mencorakkan kehidupan yang lebih baik daripada apa yang aku rancang.

Aku tahu, aku bukan yang terbaik
Dan aku tahu, Allah sedang meletakkan diriku pada tempat yang aku mampu untuk berusaha yang terbaik kerana-Nya.

Kita semua ada kisah silam,
Aku, dia , mereka pasti tidak akan terlepas dari kisah silam yang sebenarnya sedang membentuk diri kita pada saat ini,
Jadi mengapa kita ingin kalah dengan kisah silam yang lalu  sedangkan  ada pelangi yang indah sedang menyinari  dihadapan.

Kalau ingin tahu yang sebenar,
Jangan hanya dengar-dengar,
Jumpa dan tanya,
Barulah jadi manusia yang benar.


Antara persiapan penting sebelum berumah tangga adalah lebih kerap berqiamullail.

Peluh besar. -APG-

Pimpin langkahku

- Al-alifat -

Thursday, April 24, 2014

Tanggungjawab, Masa dan Cinta

Ya Allah Berkatilah masaku, Sungguh aku akui Bumi Malaysia sangat mencabar bagiku pada waktu ini.
 Bagaimana aku ingin bahagikan masaku dengan tanggunggjawab-tanggngjawab ini ? .

Tarik Nafas panjang-panjang
Pejamkan mata
Selesaikan satu-satu.

Isti'zan pada Naqibah

Pesan Rasululah kalau sayang dan cintakan saudara kita keranaNya, bagitahu.
Tapi inilah yang susah nak buat, macam mana saudara kita tu nak tahu kalau kita tak bagitahu.


عَنْ اَنَسٍ: اَنَّ رَجُلاً كَانَ عِنْدَ النَّبِيِّ صَلَى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَمَ فَمَرَّ رَجُلٌ فَقَالَ: يَا رَسُوْلُ اللهِ اِنّي لأحِبُّ هَذَا فَقَالَ لَهُ النَّبِيُّ صَلَى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَمَ أَعْلَمْتَهُ؟ قَالَ: لا، قَالَ صَلَى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَمَ: أعْلِمْهُ فَلَحِقَهُ فَقَالَ: إِنِّي أُحِبُّكَ فِى اللهِ فَقَالَ: أَحَبَّكَ الَّذِي أَحْبَبْتَنِى لَهُ

Anas r.a. mengatakan bahwa seseorang berada di sisi Rasulullah saw., lalu salah seorang sahabat melewatinya. Orang yang berada di sisi Rasulullah tersebut mengatakan, “Aku mencintai dia, ya Rasulullah.” Lalu Nabi bersabda, “Apakah kamu sudah memberitahukan dia?” Orang itu menjawab, “Belum.” Kemudian Rasulullah saw. bersabda, “Beritahukan kepadanya.” Lalu orang tersebut memberitahukannya dan berkata, “Sesungguhnya aku mencintaimu karena Allah.” Kemudian orang yang dicintai itu menjawab, “Semoga Allah mencintaimu karena engkau mencintaiku karena-Nya.” (Abu Dawud, dengan sanad shahih)

Ya Allah , aku sayangkan kedua ibubapaku keranaMu, pengorbanan dan kasih sayang mereka sangat bermakna bagiku.
Abah sinarku
Ummi kekuatanku
Semoga Getaran cinta ini diketahui mereka.
 - Al-alifat -

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Izinkan aku ingin beribadah pada Tuhanku


Ya Allah,
Teguhkan hati ini,
Adakah ini mainan Syaitan, jika Ya, Dikau berikan aku kekutan untuk kuat bertahan,
Kekutan untuk aku tetapkan hati ini dan yakin pada ketentuanMu,
Sungguh engkaulah sebaik-baik perancang.


Sungguh aku merindui kesibukan dalam Tarbiyah, kesibukan yang menguatkan lagi ikatan hati padaMu, 
Kesibukan yang menghidupkan jiwa, sunggh rehat bagi seorang Daie bukan nikmat tapi ujian.
Maka kini tiba saat aku utuk mengorak langkah bukan lagi berharap. Inilah realiti .

Rindu sahabat perjuangan,



Jauh dari dasar hati, aku ingin terus belajar .


Rasulullah ke gua hira mengadu pada TuhanNya, berkhaulah disana mencari ketenangan dan matlamat sebagai seorang hamba.

Apatah lagi aku ummatnya, yang penuh dengan noda-noda jahiliyyah, aku harus pergi mencari kekuatan.

Ya Allah permudahkan.

- Al-alifat -

Thursday, February 20, 2014

Tahadu Tahabu

Pesan Nabi, berilah hadiah , kamu akan berkasih sayang ,

Tiba-tiba teringat kelas Tausiqat bersama Duktur Abdullah 'Anbar,
Seorang Doktor yang sangat lembut tutur katanya dan disenangi oleh orang sekeliling.

Suatu hati Doktor berpesan,
Binalah suasana harmoni dan kasih sayang diantara kamu dengan saling memberi dan bertukar-tukar hadiah, jangan pandang enteng, memberilah walau hanya sebiji kurma.

Hikmahnya tidak akan dapat dibeli dengan wang ringgit,
Iaitu perasaan bahagia dan ketenangan hati.

"Kita dakwah dengan kasih sayang kan" , Senyum doktor  seketika.


Dan hari ini, aku dapat hadiah,
Betullah kata doktor ,
Perasaan gembira yang tak dapat digambarkan.

Islam mengajar kita "The way of Life"

Alhamdulillah :)

-Al-alifat -